||[Feb. 29th, 2004|11:55 am]
|||||My Immortal - Evanescence||]|
i'm not sure what to say or think or feel anymore. i'm not sure...it's like i'm dead inside. -shrugs- and the nightmares still haunt me. and i'm not sure if i can wait another two weeks to see my therapist. she's new. haven't met her before...so i'm kinda freaked out. also scared that she's going to call my mom and tell her -everything- that's been going on. my previous counselor talked to her about the abuse and stuff...and my mom thinks there's something -seriously- wrong with me. well, no shit. she's been prying at the nightmares again and again trying to get me to tell her what they're about. like i'll -ever- do that.
god i feel sick. she's also saying shes going to take me to the doctor to get me checked out. i don't want to do that. i don't want to know how much damage i've done to my liver and kidneys. it doesn't matter anyways...god damn it. why do i have to feel so fucking trapped?